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Ann Williams, Age 23:
"I was reading a book, and as I turned the page, I got a really bad paper cut on my finger. Now, you have to understand—I'm a real baby when it comes to pain, and while its probably not true, they say that a paper cut is the worst pain you could ever feel. Also, its a good thing that I am not a hemopheliac, because if I was, I would have definitely bled to death. Well, thank God for the Law Firm of Callahan and Goldstein. Not only did I sue the publishers of the book that gave me the paper cut, but I sued the author as well. If that book didn't exist, I wuoldn't have been able to read it, and if I hadn't read it, I never would have gotten this icky paper cut, so the author is just as much to blame as the publisher."
Ted Burnside, Age 19:
"I was hurt at work. Okay, so maybe I wasn't hurt, but my feelings were hurt when my boss continued to yell at me everyday and the way he has even written me up because he doesn't think I'm a good employer. I mean, okay, so I've fallen asleep on the job a few times, and maybe I come in an hour late everyday, and maybe I'm not the most friendly, enthusiastic employees he's ever seen, and probably don't do the best job either. But that's no reason for him to yell at me. I mean, so maybe he didn't yell exactly, or insult me, or use harsh language, but the meaning was loud and clear, and he was way to stern on me. Well, the emotional strain prevented me from doing my job, and since it was work-related, I sued for workman's compensation and won a settlement of $100,000,000, thanks to the Law Firm, and now, I'm living like a king, and I don't have to do anything at all!"
Joe Hudson, age 34:
I was flamed on an Internet message board a few months ago, and it really hurt my feelings. Okay, so maybe I'm not always the most friendly guy around, especially when talking to people online, and I have a bit of a temper, and not the best nettiquet either, but still, there was no need to flame me and make me look like a jerk in front of everyone on that message board. Not only did I sue the one who flamed me, but I sued the message board administrators and the moderators, as well as their host, for allowing the scathing flames to take place as well—sure, it was done in the designated flame wars board, but that's still no excuse for negligently allowing them to flame me as badly as they did! And with the help of Callahan and Goldstein, I got a settlement that was more than satisfactory."
Linsey Scaffold, Age 32:
"My eight-year-old son went into the neighbors yard last month and was teasing their dog, laughing and pointing, throwing sticks at the dog while kicking dirt in the dog's face. The dog is usually very friendly, but must've been in a bad mood, because when my son, Johnny, was teasing him, the dog eventually snapped and bit Johnny in the hand. My sweet boy was in pain after the dog bit him, and ran to me in tears, crying for comfort and my heart just sank as Johnny showed me the hand that the dog bit. Sure, it was a superficial wound, but that dog had no business biting my boy in the first place. It just wasn't very nice. So naturally, I called the Law Firm of Callahan and Goldstein, and we even got an out-of-court settlement, which natually paid off the medical expenses of treating Jonny, and will hopefully quell the emotional trauma that my poor boy and I had to endure."
Jed Peters, Age 48:
"I guess I got this drinking problem, and I was storming through a residential neighborhood still really drunk at ninety miles an hour one morning while a bunch of kids were walking to school. Next thing I knew, I ran over a young boy and killed him. Well, he didn't die right away, but on his way to the hospitable I guess he didn't make it. And his mother was really distraught over it, hysterical, in fact. And I have to admit, I was really scared; thought that I was in some serious trouble. But thanks to The Law Firm of Callahan and Goldstein, not only was I exhonorated of the drunk driving and manslaughter charges, but I even sued the family of the kid I ran over for wrecking my car! Because lets face it, windshields are incredibly expensive to fix, and blood is a huge pain to clean off as well. Not to mention the trauma I suffered at having a woman screaming at me and crying hysterically because I ran over her kid. Anyway, thanks to the Law Firm of Callahan and Goldstein, I got a $50,000 settlement and the family of the kid I ran over had to sell their homes to pay me. Thanks, guys, you're a real life-saver!"
The Law Offices of Callahan and Goldstein have helped thousands of people just like the ones you've just heard, whose lives were destroyed by other people's negligence, and they can help you, too. Call 1-800-I'll-Sue-U and talk to a qualified attorney today. Our lawyers are equipped to handle negligence cases, workman's compensation cases, divorce, insurrance, automobile accidents, and other civil disputes, and may even be able to defend you should criminal charges arise as well. And we only charge a fee if you win your case, so if you don't get paid, we don't get paid either. So what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone now, and make the call to get proper compensation for trangressions committed against you. Take a stand, and get your life back!