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Send to FriendI am sending you this email begging you for help as my living conditions are absolutely intolerable and I simply cannot bear it any longer.
My name is Randall Hamilton, and I am a thirteen-year-old boy living in Cinnabar, a small desert town in Arizona. My family is living in poverty and we cannot afford proper helathy care or surgery, yet I am living with a horrible condition, which, while quite rare as far as I can tell, desperately needs to be cured if I am to ever have any hope whatsoever of living a normal and healthy life.
I do not know for certain what happened while my mother was pregnant with me. All I know is that there must have been some kind of chemical inbalance or something of that nature (I am unaware of the specifics) that resulted in me being born and spending my entire life with my head up my ass.
My parents are utterly heart-broken and feeling helpless that they can do nothing even to help alleviate my discomfort or emotional turmoil. My mother cries herself to sleep every night, hopelessly distraught over my condition, praying that God will have mercy and might somehow with his love and compassion send down a blessing to me that will extract my head from my ass and heal me from the physical and psychological damage that has already been inflicted on me. She prays in vain and feels more and more depressed and helpless with each passing second.
I cannot even leave the house for fear of ridicule and persecution from the other townfolk. To them, I am an abomination from the very bowels of hell. The children laugh and stare maliciously at me, throwing rocks and sticks to ward me off like an evil demon. Their parents encourage such cruel behavior and will otherwise forbid their children to go anywhere near me and ostracise me completely. I amforced to suffer my condition alone, with only my parents to comfort and protect me.
It is very hard for me to wear clothing of any kind, since my body is curved and contorted so radically, and my head is connected to my ass, preventing me from easily being able to slip on a shirt and pants, and I was never able to be potty trained. When I pee, the hot urine splashes over my torso, often times leaving behind a burning over my chest and stomach. When I defecate, the feces forces its way into my mouth and I eat and swallow it. Since my parents are unable to afford any medical help at all, I am not fed through any tube in my arm, but instead live off of my own excrements, recycling my shit again and again to keep me alive, leaving me severely mal-nourished and with a the taste of raw sewage fused to my tongue. And since my head has never been outside of my ass, I have never before been able to lay eyes on the beautiful sights this world has to offer, such as a setting sun or the glistening stars laying across a clear night sky. The only sight I've ever been able to see is the murky interrior of my colon. I am also denied the priveledge of breathing fresh oxygen; only the stale fumes of methane gas from my farts reaches my lungs, leaving me perpetually fatigued and nauseated. I cannot even write this email. Instead, my mother is typing it up for me, sobbing uncontrollably, the ache in her broken heart growing and intensifying with each word.
Please, you must help my family raise enough money so that the doctors can remove my head from my ass. Everyday I am overwhelmed with physical discomfort and emotional pain. I am going through puberty now, and my penis is always unexpectantly stiffening into a rock-hard erection, poking and stabbing into my chest. My condition also puts a great strain on my contorted back, and I fear that I will be crippled by the time I reach adulthood.
If you have any compassion in your heart, you will donate as much money as you can to my cause and forward this email to all your friends, family, and coworkers. This is the only way to help, the only way to raise enough money to remove my head from my ass. If you will not help me, then I will not hate you, but know that my mother and father will despise you, and to them, you will be nothing more than scum, a black-hearted piece of shit that deserves nothing more than to have your head wedged into your ass like me and feel the pain that I have felt everyday since I was born.
I have tried to help myself. I have tried pulling it out myself, but its stuck in my ass too tightly, and I fear that I will snap my neck accidentally if I exert too much pressure. Perhaps I am better off dead.
I desperately need your help. Please open your heart to a thirteen-year-old boy with his head up his ass and send as much money as you can to me and forward this to everyone you know and beg, plead, and force them to donate as well.
Signed with love,
Randall Hamilton