A No Cussing Club Member Story

So I was walking home from school one day, freezing my fucking ass off when I slipped on a patch of ice. My elbows took most of the impact and it really hurt like a bitch.

"Awww shit, fuck goddamn it," I muttered and winced painfully.

And all of a sudden I was surrounded by a bunch of kids. I could feel the weight of their accusing eyes, judgming me, condemning me for words so foul. And then they started to chant, which was both creepy and headache-inducing:

"If you wanna hang with us, I don't wanna hear ya cuss! If you wanna be my peer, please respect my ears! Don't cuss!

"Ugh...fuck you, man, shut the fuck up," I groaned miserably.

They continued chanting and rapping as they closed in on me, kicking and stomping me mercilessly no matter how much I cried and begged them to stop.

When they were done, I was bleeding really badly. I had two black eyes that swelled shut, a broken nose, a broken jaw, and broken ribs. Right now the simple act of breathing is a painful ordeal thanks to those miserable, holier-than-thou little shits.

And that's how swearing ruined my life.

January 26, 2009

See The No Cussing Club for the inspiration of this story. They even have their own rap song. In all honestly, I really don't give a fucking shit if some kid has a fucking hair up his ass about people swearing and he wants to start a club about it, more power to him, and I'm sure he's an otherwise nice kid and everything. But I'm still get to have a little fun here; sometimes I just can't help myself.

MISC : A No Cussing Club Member Story