Zero Hour : Tests

Are you insane?

Name:
Email:
Age:
Location:
Gender:

Throughout your life, have you ever had any severe head trauma?

None worth mentioning or remembering.

I have bashed my head a few times and might have even had a concussion, but it did not cause any permanent damage.

I have had a few serious head injuries and was slightly impaired mentally (such as memory loss, etc.) but I can still function on my own in society.

Yes, and the impairment was pretty severe.

Yes, and I am the one who caused those injuries. It was pretty fun hitting myself in the head like that, actually.

Do the negative things people might think or say about you affect you?

No differently than how any normal and healthy person would be affected by what other people say or think.

It does not affect me at all.

It makes me feel sad, awkward, defensive, and/or uncomfortable.

I grow furious and feel the urge to kill.

I grow furious if what the person says or thinks is even remotely negative and wind up ripping his fucking throat out.

In general, are you easily angered?

No, it takes a lot to set me off.

Yes, I am easily angered, but get over it pretty quickly.

Yes, and it usually takes me a while to cool down.

Yes, and I can be pretty destructive when I am angry.

Yes, and once I am set off, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

Do you have more than one personality?

Nope, only one personality that is displayed at all times.

I have only one personality but many facets to that personality with the occasional or frequent mood swing.

I used to have multiple personalities, but they fused together, so for the time being, I only have one.

Yeah, but only a couple.

I have so many I cannot keep up with them anymore.

Have you ever had a hallucination?

No.

Yes, but I was seriously fucked up on drugs at the time.

I have had a few in the past, but I have gotten better.

Yes, I have them quite frequently.

I have so many hallucinations that I no longer know what is real and what is not anymore.

Have you ever woken up in a strange place covered in blood, with no idea where you were, how you got there, or what happened the night before?

Never.

Maybe once or twice.

It happens every once in a while.

It happens far too often.

It’s a nightly thing for me.

Have you ever heard strange voices in your head?

Never.

Maybe once or twice a long time ago, but it has not happened since.

I do hear voices from time to time, but it is always gibberish. I have NO idea what they are saying.

The voices are constantly taunting and tormenting me, and I wish they would just stop and leave me alone.

Oh yes, I have given the voice a name and he is my best friend in the world.

Do you ever talk to yourself?

No, only crazy sons of bitches talk to themselves.

Only when I am trying to figure something out.

I like to call it thinking out loud.

Talking to myself is the only place I can get any kind of intelligent conversation.

It is not so much talking to myself as it is talking to some of my other personalities.

Do you ever talk to inanimate objects?

No, that is just pointless and stupid.

I swear at the object when I get frustrated because the fucking thing is not working properly.

Only when I get really lonely.

I do it sometimes to try and be cute.

I talk to inanimate objects all the time and they talk back to me.

Have you ever had sex with an inanimate object?

No, inanimate objects just do not do it for me.

I have a fetish, but that does not involve actually having sex with the object of my affection, only POSSIBLY involving it in my sex life with another person.

I did it once because I was curious as to what it would be like.

I have sex with inanimate objects all the time.

Yes, I have had sex with an inanimate object before, and I hope it was as enjoyable for the object as it was for me.

Have you ever had any delusions of grandeur?

No, I realize that I am nothing more than what I am.

I believe myself to be better than others, but that is not a delusion.

Such delusions come and go, where sometimes I think I am God, but other times I realize I am not.

I am God Almighty, and all must worship me or burn in the fiery pits of hell for eternity!

I am God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and Satan all rolled into one, as well as Allah, and a whole bunch of gods from Greek and Roman mythology, Hindu Gods, Buddha, and any other religion not mentioned here. With all of these diverse god-like personalities struggling for dominance inside my head, it can often get confusing, but being the perfect Supreme Being, I still manage to sort it all out.

Have you ever felt the sensation of bugs crawling on your skin?

Only when bugs are actually crawling on my skin.

Sometimes when I am in a situation where insects might be present, I might feel a bug crawling on me that is not there, but that is it.

When I take some serious dope, I sometimes feel bugs crawling on me when there are no bugs present.

I do not need drugs to feel phantom insects crawling on my skin.

Not only do I feel them crawling on my skin all the time, but I can feel them crawling into my skin as well, and often times cut myself open with a razor in an attempt to extract them.

Are you overly paranoid?

No, I do not have anything to worry about and I know that no one is out to get me.

I often find myself questioning the motives of others.

I do not trust the government, but that is about it.

I am paranoid of "them." I do not know who "they" are, but I know that "they" are out there and are coming to get me.

I am afraid of all of those people over there, the ones who are watching me. I do not care if other people cannot see or detect them. I know they are there and can see them very clearly and know that they must be up to no good.

Are you a bed-wetter?

No, I never really had a problem with bed-wetting.

I used to wet the bed when I was very young, but I got over that problem before kindergarten.

I still have problems from time to time, but it is not something that occurs too frequently.

Bed-wetting is an almost nightly thing for me.

I wet the bed every night and then lay soaking and marinating in my urine and do not care at all.

Are you a pyromaniac?

No way, fire is way too dangerous.

Fire can be pretty, but you should be very careful with it.

Seeing fire draws me into a hypnotic trance and I stare transfixed in a blissful reverie as I gaze at the searing, radiant flames.

I have these compulsions constantly to set things on fire and cannot help myself.

I like to set things on fire and have even tired to have sexual intercourse with the fire, but that did not work too well.

Did you torture animals as a child?

No, I have always loved animals.

Only minor stuff, like pulling legs of spiders, etc.

I sometimes caused pain to my pets for fun, but I never killed them or anything like that.

Yeah, I did torture animals, and they usually ended up dead after I was done with them.

I tortured them until they died and bathed in their sweet blood.

Out of the list below, which do you fear the most?

Being beaten, raped, and/or mugged while wandering around in a dark alley.

The next terrorist attack.

Losing the ability to control myself.

The government mind-control rays.

The next wave of attack from the Killer Dust Bunnies.

Are you religious?

No, I do not believe in any of that stuff.

I am religious, but do not try to force my beliefs on others.

I am religious, and I go out of my way to push my beliefs on all those around me, using force, if necessary.

I am part of a cult.

I am part of a cult and we go out and make animal sacrifices and are considering stepping it up to virgin sacrifices as well.

How often does the urge to kill strike you?

Never. Even thinking about killing someone else is wrong.

Rarely, and only if I hate the person. And I can always control myself and will not actually kill the person.

It happens from time to time, but I can keep myself under control.

Anytime I am out in public, homicidal urges and desires hit me, and it is always a struggle not to kill the vermin in my presence, but I fight it anyway because I do not want to lose my freedom.

It hits me all the time and I cannot control it.

Do you have any friends?

Yeah, I have a lot of friends.

People either like me or hate me.

I do not have too many because I usually get too nervous in social situations.

I usually try to avoid human contact whenever possible.

I have a lot of friends and they all live inside my head.